Intelligence

I couldn’t shake the feeling of deja vu as I stared at the screen in front of me. The sticky notes lined the edges of the monitor, and the fluorescent light above the desk buzzed gently. It all hit me like a wave of unwelcome nostalgia. I forced myself to blink, trying to wipe the mainframe, and pushed back in my chair, out of the cubicle and into the hall walkway.

“Rough morning?” Sam asked, peeking his head out from behind the neighboring wall while taking a sip from his travel mug. He leaned back in his chair and smiled. “It’s a little early for decompression hour, isn’t it?”

I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms. “It’s never too early.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized my mistake. Sam inched his chair more into the hall, digging his heels into the carpet as he pushed forward. I could see the SpongeBob socks he was wearing as his pant legs lifted up above his ankles. 

“So, did you catch the game last night? The Dream are killing it lately. Can’t believe they were picked to finish 3rd this year. They just let anyone fill those things out, I guess.” He took a big swig of his coffee and leaned back in his chair again.

The last thing I wanted was to get into a discussion about the accuracy and integrity of WNBA preseason rankings, especially with the office outcast, yet here I was. Trapped in a particle-board prison, quickly preparing to bullshit my way through small talk with a grown man wearing socks with a cartoon sea sponge.

PING.

"Saved by the bell,” I whispered to myself. I turned to my desk and saw the notification flash on my screen. “Ahh, sorry, man. Gotta take this.”

Sam nodded and toasted the air with his mug as I pushed my chair back into my cubicle. I let out a deep breath as I pulled my legs back under the desk, shaking my head and trying to forget the interaction and move forward. The computer continued to flash its standard white box on the dark green desktop background, the word PROMPT in large black block-style sans-serif font. 

I clicked ‘Open’ on the dialog box and waited for the full submission text to populate in the chat window. The username “Steven” auto-filled as the prompt text popped onto the screen.

“hi cna you help me do research on the best workout for fat loss in stomach and hips”

“Another one? Come on man…” I sighed, dropping my chin into my palm with my elbow on the edge of the desk. “Third fucking time today for the damn workouts.”

Thankfully, no instructions had been added to the prompt window. I opened my protocol menu folder on the desktop and double-clicked the “Basic Search” icon. Three browser windows popped into view, and I began to type into their search bars. I spent the next fifteen minutes typing the results into my protocol document, doing my best to tune out the out-of-rhythm humming coming from Sam’s desk. It only stopped when he popped his head around my wall to talk.

“I’m going to grab a coffee. Want anything?”

“All good, man, thanks.”

“You get anything good? I just got prompted for new lyrics to ‘Baby Got Back’. Can you believe that? What a day!”

“Wow, that’s nuts.”

“You ain’t kidding!”

Sam tapped my cubicle wall twice, then headed down the walkway towards the breakroom. “He gets song lyrics, and I’m putting together my third fucking workout,” I muttered. “Fat fuck’s never going to do any of this shit.”

I finished typing the response in the chat window and tagged the status as ‘Ready’ so the system could review it. It took about thirty seconds for the icon to turn green and the ‘Send’ button to light up. I fired it off and slumped back in my chair, watching my response type itself out. 

Hi! 😊 Absolutely — I can help you research the most effective workouts for losing fat around your stomach and hips and build a routine that fits your goals.

The most important thing to know is that you can strengthen and tone your stomach and hips, but you can't choose exactly where your body burns fat. Exercises such as crunches and leg raises build muscle in those areas, while overall fat loss comes from a combination of physical activity, strength training, nutrition, and consistency.

As the text finished sending, I found myself noticing the sticky notes and the buzzing overhead lights once again. I was on the verge of slipping back into a quick zone-out trip before the unmistakable off-beat humming of my neighbor came back into earshot. 

“Hey Sam,” I called, not turning my body away from my desk.

“Yeah, buddy?” Sam peered around the corner, holding his travel mug, fresh steam escaping the drinking spout.

“Baby got back?”

“I know, right? How great is that? Always something new around here, I tell ya.”

Sam tapped the wall again, then disappeared behind it and headed back to his cubicle, still humming along. “Baby got back,” I laughed to myself. “Could probably use this workout plan…”

PING.

thanks! cna you give me a meal plan too?